Under Pressure

"Pressure pushing down on me. Pressing down on you, no man ask for. Under pressure that burns a building down, splits a family in two" - Under Pressure by David Bowie

---

Happy Monday friends! I've been a little absent, but not just on here. I have let all the goings on around me get the best of me. We have been busy preparing for school to start, talking about school starting, worrying about school starting, focusing on NOT worrying about school starting, big work projects going on, and all the things are starting to show back up on the calendar. I immediately went into stress mode. I generally walk through stressful times pretty well, I really do thrive off of fixing and preparing for situations. For myself, I just went through (and it's still happening) this period of time where there is this "Big" thing looming overhead (Carona). I can't control it, I can't fix it, I can't take my family somewhere away from it, it's here and likely to stay. I have been working on my approach with it, and admittingly, I have had ups and downs. I keep telling the hubs. I am not normally a jealous person, but I am jealous that I am not as care free about this as others appear to be. I have been extremely cautious and have been prayerful about how we have handled our family throughout this. Watching others going on vacation, going to events, hanging out with one another has left me reeling with 'what's wrong with me?' thoughts.

Our kids will start in-school 5 days next week and my concerns do not lie with getting sick (I mean it's there of course, but its not my main concern). but mostly the logistical things they will have to deal with. There are too many to list, and the lists are plentiful on all sides of the in-school, virtual, hybrid options.

My oldest struggles with transition and change and has for the majority of his life. He is going to have to push through a lot of new things. He really understood that virtual learning was not in his wheelhouse last spring. He does struggle with a lot of things that most people would just say 'get over it' to and I have to constantly remind myself of that on a daily basis. For example, as an SPD (sensory processing disorder) kid, things like food is a big deal. A sandwich with a soft piece of bread can make his skin crawl, so working through what lunch will look like this year, is just a thing for him. Describing to him that we just don't know what to expect, was obviously stressful for him, but watching him trying to be adaptable and seeing how he is maturing emotionally and the willingness to work through some of these obstacles makes my momma heart smile. We will get through it and help him manage change and it will likely be a series of growing moments for him. Which is what this post is exactly about.

Our church is doing a series on Transformation right now, which coincides with small group discussions. We talked about desert times yesterday, when you feel 'under' pressure. What do you do? How do you handle it? What methods do you use? So many things were spinning in my mind as we discussed and they were not just how I handle it so that I survive them, learn and grow, but how my children are watching me handle it and how they are learning and growing. It's not only important for us as adults to push through, get in the word, listen to music, rest, stay healthy, but to do this openly. Be visible to your kids. I asked the hubs yesterday afternoon as we watched an episode of Bear Grylls Eco Race Challenge, "How do we teach 'grit' to our kids?" Now, I am NO eco racer, athlete, but when it comes to my work and other aspects of my life, I give it my all. I am all in, and sometimes to a fault. I have what I consider 'grit', to be my best and do my best. How DO we teach that to our kids? As my day went on, it became more than obvious to me. We show up and we make it visible. There are areas in which I am lacking. These are opportunities for growth that my kids need to see me work through. I need to help them understand and be involved in some of the decisions. My kids don't always need a smoothly paved road ahead of them. Model the behaviors in moments where some 'grit' is needed. As a dear friend in our group said last night, we need to remind them 'God IS Here', so they have that assurance, but there may be some work we need to do to get to where we need to be. Push through friends, God didn't promise us an easy paved road. Get through the desert, climb the mountains. He may be protecting us more than we know, but there are things we need to learn along the way, even if it is just to teach those who rely on us most, how to persevere.